Hey Thick Bestie,

As I reflect on my journey through the maze of societal beauty standards, one thing becomes clear: growing up plus-size in a world fixated on slimness can feel like a hopeless challenge. From the earliest memories of shopping trips filled with limited options to the incessant whispers of judgmental eyes, the road to self-acceptance felt like an uphill ongoing battle.

I remember the countless times I stood in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every curve and roll or some would say “fat fold,” wishing desperately to fit into the mold society deemed acceptable which clearly didn’t resemble anything like me. It seemed as though my worth was measured by the number on the tag of my clothes or my scale (which the larger number on either was not considered a good thing), rather than the kindness in my heart or the brilliance of my mind.

But somewhere along the way, it just clicked for me……and I soon found solace in the vibrant world of plus-size fashion. It was like discovering a hidden treasure chest filled with pieces that celebrated my body rather than trying to hide it. With each bold print, daring silhouette, and empowering slogan, I felt a little more confident, a little more empowered to embrace myself just as I am total mind, "body,” and soul. 

Yet, the journey to self-love is not without its challenges. The echoes of society’s narrow beauty standards can linger long after we’ve made peace with ourselves. Low self-esteem can creep in when we least expect it, whispering cruel lies about our worth and desirability. 

So how do I silence those voices and reclaim my confidence?…. Well I’ll tell you! We are gonna get right down to the nitty gritty.  We’ll even take it slow by focusing on one tip at a time and by the end of the five tips we will have a new perspective and lease on how we view, treat/care, and how to build our selves up. So now….

#1. “Cultivate Self-Compassion” so instead of berating ourselves for not fitting into a certain size or shape, practice kindness and understanding towards yourself. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend, with love and compassion. Ok so now let me elaborate because I know you might be like uhhh… but just think for a moment… 

In a world that often feels relentless in its scrutiny of our unique bodies, cultivating self-compassion becomes an essential tool in our journey towards confidence and self-acceptance. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, comparing ourselves to impossible standards and berating ourselves for not measuring up. But what if, instead of tearing ourselves down, we chose to build ourselves up with kindness and understanding?

Self-compassion is about treating ourselves with the same level of care and empathy that we would offer to a loved one in need. It means acknowledging our struggles and imperfections with gentleness and compassion, rather than harsh judgment. It’s about recognizing that we are all imperfect beings, worthy of love and acceptance just as we are.

Practicing self-compassion begins with shifting our inner dialogue from one of criticism to one of kindness. When we catch ourselves engaging in negative self-talk, we can gently remind ourselves that we are only human, and that it’s okay to be imperfect. We can offer ourselves words of encouragement and support, just as we would to a friend in need.

Self-compassion also involves practicing self-care in all its forms. Whether it’s taking a long bath, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in a favorite hobby, self-care is an essential component of self-compassion. By prioritizing our own well-being and happiness, we send a powerful message to ourselves that we are deserving of love and care.

Ultimately, cultivating self-compassion is a journey—a journey of learning to treat ourselves with the same level of kindness and understanding that we would offer to others. It’s about embracing our flaws and imperfections with grace and acceptance, knowing that they are an integral part of what makes us uniquely beautiful. So let us be gentle with ourselves, for we are doing the best we can with the resources we have. And in that gentleness, let us find the courage to embrace ourselves just as we are, flaws and all. 

Now take some time to think about what ways you can work on tip number one. It might even be a good idea to “journal along the journey” of building a new confident you. Write daily the ways you have started showing compassion for yourself, how you turned a negative thought into a positive one about how you look or feel about yourself, and what special treatment or act of kindness you did for yourself today…. Reflect even on how you felt afterward.

Next blog we will discuss tip number #2 so be sure to follow up because we are going somewhere with this and the beautiful person you already are will shine brighter than ever!! Talk to you soon on the next blog as I pour my heart out to you 💕

Your

Thicky Thick Bestie💕

Nesha’